鲜花( 1394) 鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : * {. r7 x9 H4 H0 L! \8 N0 L/ z/ ~6 A* J
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ! o/ T5 }- H, F: P' Q
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 0 X) i* | M2 B5 I
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.1 a5 x/ v0 @" a1 c" K/ ?# J
- E2 z3 ]8 B/ S9 M& o; PCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..! }9 E. k4 T6 Z' y* U% W1 T2 N v
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 5 N. g" e% B2 k6 d7 l& N
0 t! d7 G7 [1 Z4 C0 F6 \# ZRinse conditioner off hair.# }2 ~9 a0 \( h4 ^
* J& ]. D" g: f: U# J* h0 g1 Y8 P: s, lShave armpits and legs.# m, c( q2 ?+ C& ~1 z. |
; [1 F; {5 V$ y% zTurn off shower.- u0 n" d- @, b+ F* s
0 ?4 ^6 @6 V: eSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.3 k. h1 z& p. ~5 ?% @5 x" s. H0 }
0 h- o1 F9 _8 y- I5 s7 XSpray mold spots with Tilex. & [, B7 F6 w) p% C( v
: b$ {& @7 P, i+ @7 @. y) iGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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2 `4 d3 J1 D, a1 V, b4 l4 WReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ) m5 k8 J4 f! z3 I
+ w0 L2 z7 ?. r1 ~Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 8 N3 A5 y5 h' f! c# d# u
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Walk naked to the bathroom.) Z% `' P2 P0 S" f$ P# H% [ E; N$ L
! {* e+ \- ^5 q& v9 u. |If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 0 Y5 \, o* Y: K3 k( T
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. . ^( h. V7 U6 h, U& F9 H
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. " J# h6 M! H8 v1 _+ M. C+ Q
6 w, b; {, }0 @7 aGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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4 a5 p: P$ W0 `6 Y, bBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ' `6 M* t3 h- {8 N& X( K' v
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 7 k, N# ?& Q1 e& Q
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 9 m9 Q/ w% n( Z" b. h
% x8 J* C( l U8 TWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.% F3 q) Y) ]" P
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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; U2 q f3 p0 F2 g. UAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 3 h3 B8 _) E q/ R) B
) L4 Y- ]% u0 pLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 0 n4 k1 R, \& c4 Z
7 i, c0 d( X( I0 [ BThrow wet towel on bed.
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# {' g, r. R( z) v+ l1 p* |If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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